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  1. As criminal Conrad Black said years ago: “If Boris wants to run for No 10, the Telegraph is behind him.” But nobody took him seriously. As the guest ruefully observed: “Everybody puddled themselves with guffawing laughter of disbelief at the very thought.”

  2. “former” thug Vlad the imposter.

  3. Streetcleaner, KGB agent, singer on a cruise ship, the Donald. There is hope for “we the people” yet!